Delhi Diary

We are one month old in Delhi. :)
After living outside India for 12 years when we decided to be back in India, friends and family cautioned us that it is going to be a huge adjustment. A good friend in Delhi pointed out that there is getting reacquainted to India and there is getting used to Delhi. I wholeheartedly agree. Delhi is a different animal altogether.

Here are some good, bad, ugly, and just plain different:
1. Delhi Metro: The best thing so far. Second day in Delhi we got ourselves a metro card and it has been smooth sailing since then. First day it reminded me of NYC subway. Something familiar and so liberating. Since then I have realized that it is much better - it is clean, easy to navigate, and has pretty good signage.

2. No restaurants in sight: This one is specific to the area we live in. First day we wandered around trying to find something for breakfast. We still have tough time finding something decent. There are chaat corners, winter chaat vendors, chaaiwalas but just 1 restaurant in our area (10-15 mins walk) and another walking distance of half an hour that we found closed for renovation the day we decided to eat out. *sigh*
North Delhi I am told is the old culture while South Delhi is cosmopolitan. It sure shows in the food scene.

3. Expectation of man to man talk: It is extremely difficult to get anything done from anybody. The electrician, the plumber, the Bosch installation person look at Parag every time they answer a question, even when I ask the question. For the last 20 years I have done all these things myself so it is quite frustrating, infuriating. I have to keep pushing Parag to ask questions, negotiate or give ultimatums (which is part of a normal conversation here. More on the conversation/negotiation dance later). If you know Parag, it is the most difficult thing for him to do. This is, I am sure, very specific to Delhi or may be North Delhi (or North India?). I have never had this problem in Pune.

4. Security check in Metro and Malls: Every time you enter a metro station you have to go through a metal detector, get patted down, and put your bags through a scanner. Same with malls or big commercial buildings. There are separate lines for women with lady police officers and a 'private' space for the pat down. It may sound appalling to my friends in US but surprisingly I got used to it in a day (might be because of similar experience in Pune during the 2011 visit). Now it is part of the everyday rhythm. A family member of mine in Delhi who takes this as a given is appalled at the thought that NYC or for that matter any of the US or European city public transport systems do not have 'security'. 'How can you be safe without it?' is his bewildered question.

Good Bye NYC!

As we planned and re-planned the details of our move to India, one thing I knew for sure - we will fly out of New York City. I have no emotional attachment to Boston and it would be such a shame not to see NYC, the love my life, for one last time.

I thought a lot about what I want to do in NYC and scratched all the touristy things that we listed together. The only thing I wanted to do was to hang out with friends, walk the streets, eat whatever random street food we saw on the way and just soak in the city that I called home for a decade.

Met some of my oldest friends in NYC. Extended lunch over dimsum till we couldn't get up, warm bowl of ramen on a wicked cold night, gyro on the cart, ate our way through the Bryant park holiday market, managed to eat horrible Met cafeteria food as well just for old times sake.  ;)

Cigar making demonstration as we wait for some Cuban food near Washington Square park:

  

Walking the city was a hit and miss. The snowstorm and the arctic wave did not make it easy but we did good. :)
Peak into a random church to get warm as we wandered in UWS:

Walking around TC and Columbia campus was mostly about getting things done like the post office visit, popping in the Columbia shop to buy some memorabilia. TC was deserted due to the holiday. But Parag insisted on getting photos in the deserted corridors. So here is one just to say I was at TC:




I am content as I leave this city. Many memories, no regrets!

Butterfly needles, blood draws, and other things

Flebotomist: You are dehydrated that is why I can't find your vein.
Me: *Close eyes, take a deep breath and get ready for the dialogue*
F: If you don't drink coffee and drink a bottle of water we would not have this problem.
Me: I do not drink coffee actually.
F: *silence*
Me: I drank water yesterday and in the morning as you mentioned last time so this time it would be easier.

F: You are drinking too much water and diluting yourself. 

I have had this exact same dialogue with this one. I have had similar dialogues with other flebotomist. My entire life I have had problems where people can't find my veins. It has exasurbated after I came to US. In 2014 had a harrowing experience wher I was poked and proded 12 times on both hands, and back of my palms to the point where I was about to faint. I very curteously asked her to remove the needle (which was not drawing any blood) so that I can faint without hurting her. She was mad at me for botching her 12th attempt.

I thought it was because I am perpetually dehydrated since I moved to US or becaue I am now old. Untill I finally found a person who used to insert needle in a single swift movement and draw blood like it was no big deal. She also said encoragingly everytime - "you did really well". I really liked her. She moved to some other clinic and I am back to the dialogues. She told me to ask for butterfly needle. It hasn't helped with others.

In the meanwhile I went to India where my neighborhood doctor did a clean blood draw without any butterfly. with just a plain syringe that he emptied in the vial. It was one of the smoothest blood draws in a while.

Now that I have experienced two really good flebotomists, I have realized that it is not my age or being perpetually dehydrated, or the equipment. It is just plain skill. I wonder then if the whole back and forth about me doing this to myself by drinking coffee, not drinking water, or drinking too much of it, is their way to push the blame because they can't do their jobs to even a basic acceptable level.

The first one that made my hands black and blue, came to work after a weekend long training, I was told. I still can't get over the fact. Looks like she did not learn these Phlebotomist Commandments in her training. The most important for me - thou shall not prick more than twice. Back off and call somebody else.

I actually did not believe the weekend training thing. But just a quick google search opened my eyes. The site How to become phebotomist says that only two states need a certification to be a phlebotomist. what? 😨 So it is worse than I thought.  The certification, which is voluntury in other states, seems to be a simple 2 day training like this on phlb.com.

I cannot believe my eyes. My doctor looks at wikipedia to tell me about what ails me. My phlebotomists might be anybody that picked up the skill over the weekend. Who am I supposed to trust in this system?

Mobile Etiquette

I was surprised during my recent visit to India to see how ubiquitous mobiles have become. I am not talking about mobile telephony penetration but how many people are constantly talking, chatting, browsing on a mobile phone:

• People on two wheelers and cars in heavy traffic are regularly seen talking on the phone. They are not even on handsfree mode, either managing the motorbike with one hand or keeping the phone pressed between sholder and ear. 
• My friends, family, aquaintances regularly answer the phone even though we are in a middle of a conversation or a meal. 
• In public places people watch whatsapp or facebook videos without headphones, sometimes while listening to something else such as public announcement, flight security presentation, or television program.  

I will be shocked if I see any of this in USA, at least on the east coast where I have lived and worked. Some of these behaviors will be considered extremly rude.

While talking with a family friend, I realized that he finds answering mobile phone at all times obvious and American custom of not answering the phone immediately when it rings, rude and perplexing. What makes technology related customs develop in certain ways in certain places? Is it about the core cultural values or phase in technology life cycle? In India mobile phones were used as a means for urgent or emergency communication. Keeping a voice mail was unheard of. Even today few people think of leaving a voice mail or know how to.

Women in the workplace: office housework

That time when:
- a visitor asks if the coffee cabinet is open or locked and nobody except me, the only other woman in the room gets up to check and bring the key. Others (men) completely ignore the question as if it is not their speciality thus not their responsibility.  Interestingly I am the only one in the room that does not drink coffee.
- one of the men in the meeting leaves their coffee cup and spilled coffee on the table after the meeting. The only attendees who think about the mess and how to clean it are two women in the meeting, one of them higher in the institutional hierarchy than all the men who attended.
- in a meeting about collaboration possibilities with another group on campus, my male colleague is asked about his opinions about the plan while I am asked to book a meeting room.

There is a term for these kind of tasks 'office housework'. Tasks such as - taking meeting notes, making sure that office supplies are stocked up, a late request for service is fulfilled, gatherings to bring the team together are arranged - are necessary for the healthy functioning of the team. However, men and women do not share these tasks equally in the workplace. Disproportionately more women take on or are expected to do the office housework but do not get credit for it. It doesn't count when it comes to promotions.

A woman voluntarily taking notes in every meeting looses opportunity to contribute fully. It is not just the woman who looses opportunities but the team suffers as it does not get the unique perspective of one of their team members.

What can we do about this?

• Women and men as allies: Now that you know this happens, observe what is happening in your team or organization. When you see a woman in the team being burdened with these tasks consistently, point that out and suggest taking turns so that the all members of the team pitch in.    
• Supervisors (male or female) need to create processes that do not burden one person with such tasks. They can also create clear categories in yearly appraisals for tasks that helped keep the team together. 

Many people have researched this topic and written about it. If you want to read more here are some

readings to start with: 

• Sheryl Sandburg: Madam CEO get me a coffee
• Kolb and Porter in Harvard Business Review: Office housework gets in women's way
• 10 Sexist scenarios women face at work

Gudhipadva and the Hindu New Year

Now that we have Whatsapp in addition to Facebook and a growing number of people back home using it, we don't need Kaalnirnay. As any important festival or religious day dawns in India earlier than in US, we start getting whatsapp messages the previous night.

It was Gudhipadva on March 28. I received pleny of images of gudhi and wishes for the new year. What surprised me this year was the number of messages that said Hindu Navavarshachya Shubheccha. When did Gudhipadva become Hindu newyear? At best it is Marathi new year.
 
Gudhipadva is the first day of the first month (Chaitra) of the year, making it the new year's day. But this calendar is not The calendar of India or Hindus. To start with there are regions that follow the amaant system and others that follow pournimaant system. In north India the month ends with a pournima or a full moon day while in the south it ends with amavasya i.e. no moon day. This clearly makes the first day of month 15 days apart so how can we have the same new year's day?

Secondly, there are regions that follow a completely different calendar system other than the lunisolar calendar that we use in Kalanirnay for example. The Malyalam calendar is a solar calendar. First of each month is based on the movement of sun through the zodiac. When I started digging more I realized that there are other regions that follow a similar method. Read more details about different calendars in India here. I have not even started digging into conventions in different communities that start the year in different months or seasons.

People calling Gudhi Padva, hindu navavarsha or Hindu new year wipes out all these differences. These are not nuances. These are completely different practices.

I wondered where the 'Hindu nava varsha' nomenclature came from suddenly as I had not seen it before. Seems that RSS always referred to Gudhi Padva as Hindu nava varsha. I wonder if the copy paste and forward system of whatsapp made it so ubiquitous that it finally reached me. The question is whose new year is it then? Mostly Marathi upperclass hindus pretending that their practices are the practices of Hindus of all shapes and sizes.

You might think it is a small thing, it is just wording but for me it showcases homogenization of hinduism and what it means to be a Hindu. It is disturbing. 

MOOCs: Time flexible but no longer massive

MOOCs, specifically Coursera and edX are moving away from the cohort based model to self paced model. The numbers according to both organizations prove that the strategy has been 'succesful'. The primary reason for the shift is to move away from the traditional higher education semester based structure which does not work for a life long learner who might be at a stage of life where they cannot spend couple of months on a course and do not like to wait for the start date.

The flexibility of start anytime and work at any pace is fantastic but getting away from the
Cohort based model also has its problems. Cohort based model pushed people through the course and learning activities such that massive number of people were at a similar place with respect to the content at any given point. From the learning experience design perspective there are implications of  not having a cohort.


It has been four years since the MOOCs exploded in popular media but the platforms that are the basis for the instructional design have not changed drastically. They were less desirable versions of LMSs then and still are in spite of add ons/apps such as Talkabouts. The most important aspect of the MOOCs for learning which is different than the online courses is the massive number of people from all over the world, bringing their varied life experiences, attitudes, opinionsm and beliefs.
With the self paced model gaining currency, there is less possibility of having other learners at the same place as you are. That makes the most important aspect of the MOOC a moot point, reducing it to a less desirable online course.

Random thoughts about Pokemon Go

Pokemon go and its eminent arrival was not on my radar. I am not a big video game, pokemon, or mobile games fan. My colleague mentioned how his students were so distracted the day Pokemon was unveiled and I got curious.

Got the app. Signing in process wasn't so smooth. App crashing I guess makes it more alluring as it alludes to millions of users who are trying to get in at the same time. More alarming was the app asking access to email, camera, photos, and many other things that I did not feel comfortable with. I always feel uneasy in the begining and then aquiesce depending on how badly I want the app.

The avatar options were the next frustrating thing. Man/woman? woman. Pink or purple? curvy body  or .... Nope just that. So now I am a voluptuous pink wearing woman/girl that I do not identify with.

The other struggle when I finally got in was that I remembered about the game only when I had a minute free at my table rather than when I went out for a walk. I quickly learned without  anybody teaching me that the poke stops when flicked give pokeballs. Throw pokeballs at different creatures appearing to catch them. Figured out about the egg incubator after I caught 3 eggs. Had to keep telling myself to be careful about dialogues like - my eggs haven't hatched yet or I have 2 eggs in the incubator. Then heard a male colleague saying the exact same thing. How wonderful it must be to not worry about that sounding weird or creepy.

My colleague's kid explained the rest of the game mechanics - what to do with the pokemons after you catch them, the candy, the fairy dust, powering up etc. The game still doesn't make much sense to me. People keep talking about the social experience. I reached level 5 just now so the in app social experience has elluded me till now. Some of my friends shared their experience playing pokemon go with their colleagues - knowing them better, finding landmarks in the neighborhood or on campus that they were not aware of. My experience has been limited to a nod or smile or look of acknolwedgement from strangers on the sidewalk who were playing Pokemon go and clearly identified that I was playing too. I know the pokemons my colleagues caught, the level they are on, the type of mobile phone they have but not much else has come out of those interactions. Except of course the disconcerting exchange with a colleague during a work related conversation, "Devayani don't move I am trying to catch a zubat on your face". 

More fulfilling has been the experience of the Pokemon Syllabus google doc shared on AIR listserv. The doc was created by Adrienne Massanari this morning and already has about 11 pages of relevant literature shared by 40+ people on topics such as location-based mobile gaming, AR and Public Spaces, apps, wearable tech, legalities/policy, and links to news articles on pokemon go. 

Where are you from?

Where are you from?

I am always stumped by that question. What does it really mean? where was I born? where was I before being here right now? What is my 'ethnicity'? What is my nationality?

Some part of why I am stumped, comes from the fact that I myself do not know where I fit. What label most fits me or who do I talk for when I say 'we'. It also comes from a place where I do not like people to try and place me as an X without really knowing me or wanting to know me.

In India my mother was always asked the question, what is your maiden last name. Our family name did not clearly carry any cast connotation. The query for maiden last name was actually asking which cast/sub-cast she was. I find the question, where are you from, similar to such questions. It is basically asking the question, 'are you of us or that other grouping?' or 'I can hear in your accent or see in your coloring that you are not of us so where can I fit you so that I know who you are.'

I have always liked to be eclectic and the question where are you from forces me to side with one or the other of the many places, people, 'cultures', traditions, schools of thought that I like to associate with, feel comfortable with or take pride in being part of. 

My history, Your history

Among other things, participating in Gallery Night Providence was one of the 'things to do' I have been planning for quite a long time to know more about my new city of residence and meet new people. As meeting people and knowing about the city were two important objectives, I decided to go for the theme based guided walks/tours offered last month rather than visiting the participating venues myself. Read more about the tour itself in the previous post.

Everybody at the information desk was happy to talk and give more information. The most interesting conversation of the evening however was with an older lady. We were talking about Myanmar, a word she could not place. I described it as Burma, the country to the east of Bangladesh. We had a lot more confusing back and forth as she thought it was next to Pakistan and I could not understand how she could miss the whole big chunk of India in the middle.

After some back and forth we realized that the visual of the map in her head was fine, facts from history was the problem. She was in school when Bangladesh was still part of Pakistan and was not aware of its formation in 1971. Part of history that I took for granted as part of world history was not an obvious nugget of information for her.

Some of it is also about geography and how we see things as near-far, relevant-irrelevant, or in size big-small based on where we currently live. More on perception of geography and how we see maps some other time.

Providence Firsts

Providence hosts an event every third Thursday named Gallery night. On October 21st I went for one of the tours offered as part of this event. We had a guest guide for this tour Michael Carroll, the docent of the John Brown House Museum in Providence. It was the most remarkable introduction to Providence and Rhode Island. Michael talked about a lot of firsts that can be attributed to the area.

One very important event was burning of the Gaspee as the event leading to the declaration of independence rather than the Boston tea party that I learned about in school (in India) learning about American Independence.

The Gaspee Day committee has been arranging various events to acquaint the public with an event that is as much a part of the national heritage as Paul Revere's ride and the Battles of Lexington and Concord. The Burning of the Gaspee was the first link in the chain of events that led directly to the Declaration of Independence.

A short description from the Gaspee Day committee website:
"In June of 1772 brave colonists from Rhode Island burned the British revenue schooner, HMS Gaspee, during what has become recognized as the first bloodshed of the American Revolution.
For the past 49 years the village of  Pawtuxet, RI has commemorated this act with our annual Gaspee Days Celebration. "

The other first (or is it a second) was the Providence art club. The club was started in 1880s by 10 men and 6 women who wanted to create a permanent place for artists to get together, work, have an exhibition gallery and where connoisseurs can go to buy art.

It was fascinating to visit studios that some of the artists opened up for the gallery night. Most interesting was talking with Anthony Tomacelli. Listening to him explain his process of painting and how different colors interact with each other changed how I look at art and the different hues of blue, orange, and violet.

The Little Pictures Show and Sale that the Providence Art Club hosts every year is also a first. The exhibition starts in November and goes on till Decemerb 23. The art has to be smaller than 16 X 16 and priced at $250 or less. I was told that this is an opportunity to buy an original piece of art by some well known area artists cheaper. This year is the 109th year of this exhibition.

There were other firsts and seconds (Providence seems to have a lot of seconds) mentioned by tour participants. I am planning to explore the history of the area more through its buildings and museums. Will post more as I explore more. 

Circles in my life

I am increasingly having problems with managing my connections. I felt it was easier before in 2005 when everybody from India was on Orkut and everybody I met in US was on Facebook. My Indian connections moved from Orkut to Facebook slowly some 2-4 years ago and my Orkut account gets only a trickle of relevant activity. However, even without the move that kind of division would not have worked for me today with the kind of sharing patterns I have.

My efforts at creating google circles was supremely unsuccessful (mostly because of google+ not working for me) so has been making groups on Facebook to selectively share stuff. Some of what I share is geographically related. For example the Africans in India exhibition I recently shared is accessible only to people living in NYC, so are various events at TC, Columbia University or other neighboring institutions. Some of it is more personal, like cute photos of my friends visiting us and celebrating Christmas, opening presents that are not necessarily unworthy to be shared with acquaintances but not particularly necessary to broadcast either.

I created a page on Facebook for my extended family and it has picked up really well. However, there is no way I can include some of the activities of the family I acquired here in US over time like my friend Marcelle and her two boys, my roommate Selen. After my parent's visit to US the task has become much more difficult. Not only do I have two versions of family but some of the members of these two versions know each other well and I would like to share 'stuff' that both will enjoy.

The other side of it is to think about what will people I am related to want me to share. I had not thought about it before. Now that I think about it, I enjoy, actively read everything my sisters, friends in India post in spite of it being absolutely not related to me due to it being locally relevant geographically or local to some conversation I am not party to. Stalking my sisters and friends gives me a feeling that I am part of their lives more than possible given the distance (much of it in time zones).

This long 'thinking out loud' is not about the functionality so much but my inability or I think more of my aversion to define my various relations as to where they fit on the plane of relatedness. 

Remembering the dearly departed

I stumbled upon an article in the weekend edition of the Wall Street Journal (Jan 4,5 2013) titled Life and Death Online: Who Controls the digital legacy. It is a story of a teenager who died and her parents were fighting to get access to her online presence like emails, social network site accounts and so on.

Around the same time, after death of activist Aaron Swartz, there is an ongoing conversation on AIR about a pdf memorial for him. This subject also stuck in my mind because just a week back there was a discussion about online bereavement, memorials, and presence after death and related research on the AIR listserve.

I had not thought of my online presence as my legacy or memorabilia that my family might want as a keepsake. I most definitely had not thought about the legalities concerned and the need to add instructions for handling my various online presence as part of my will.

One reason for not thinking about it is that the thought of death and related practicalities has not been the foremost in my mind right now. Secondly, the idea of keepsakes from and memorials of dearly departed is not something that is culturally obvious to me. My friend showed me a watch that was given to her by her aunt as a keepsake after her death. I have read in novels and seen in movies and in TV series that people keep items of their departed relatives and friends as keepsakes. I have seen many deaths as I grew up but do not remember any practice of keepsakes. There is no custom of burial so no tombstone to visit, the ashes are thrown in the river so no keepsake urns on the mantle piece.

I wonder if it is the difference between the attitude towards death - the idea of moving on after a death vs. keeping memory of a person alive after death. Then I think of all the rituals we have for dead ancestors. The yearly food donation my parents make for my grandparents on their death anniversary. May be it is just a different way to remember.  

How safe do we feel in our city?

The first public place I went to the first day I reached Pune this time I visited India was a restaurant my sisters and cousins took me to. My sister was stopped and the boot of her car searched. I felt a bit frazzled. Where were they taking me? Is this some important building housing foreign nationals, bureaucrats, ambassadors or may be big shot Bollywood stars? Is there some kind of alert? No. it is just a terrace restaurant my sister told me. It seemed like she had experienced this before and thought it was perfectly normal.

The next shock was visit to the dentist. The dentist’s office is on the top floor of a hospital. There were metal detectors and purses and bags were being searched. I felt really unsettled. My sister again reassured that it is a routine procedure in all hospitals now. There was no red alert or anything to worry about. Everybody in the line continued like it was an everyday thing. I seemed to be the only one who was shocked, confused, pained.

The third time I went through metal detectors in another hospital building, it did not shock me but it still did not feel normal part of life. The security in terms of metal detectors, bag searching, checking vehicles etc. started at various public places like hospitals, restaurants, business centers after the Feb 2010 bomb blast at German bakery.  I had visited Pune before that in 2009 making this development shocking and painful experience.

Pune is an important city from the military point of view as it is the headquarters of the southern command. It is also a potential target for terrorist attack because of the National Chemical laboratory (NCL), National Defense Academy (NDA),  – a military training center, Armament Research Development Establishment (ARDE), High Energy Materials Research Laboratory (HEMRL) and the list goes on. I lived in close proximity of the later two before moving to NYC but it never felt unsafe.

Now that I am back in NYC and thinking about it, I remember the paramilitary police and military presence in Penn station. People loaded with assault rifles and ammunition in their military fatigues. Interestingly their presence neither makes me anxious nor does it make me feel secure. For me they are just kind of part of the picture like the eateries, people running here and there, announcements, signs for trains arriving and so on.   

I have read multiple times the warning signs in subway stations that backpacks can be randomly searched. Initially when I glanced at the sign I immediately thought about the contents of my back pack and if I had packed it well enough that they can do a cursory search and did not have to take everything out. I also thought about the people who they might stop and wondered what they might see that made them stop the person. Did I have characteristics that will make them stop me? As the city became my own, and I did not feel like an outsider, I stopped thinking about these signs as well.

I don’t feel unsafe living in NYC. Though logically I should if I make a list of reasons it could be a terrorist target and also by the presence of the military and the searching that tells me that there is a possibility. But I don’t feel unsafe. The possibility of an attack does not enter my day-to-day thinking. I don't think twice before entering a subway. I wonder if visitors to NYC feel differently.

This chain of thought reminds me of a conversation way back in 2004 when I was visiting a client in Chicago. I lived in India at that time. He asked me how I felt living in India always feeling unsafe thinking about the nuclear capability of India and Pakistan and their strained relationship. What? I had never thought of it that way before he mentioned it. I did not feel unsafe, not for a single moment. We did not live in constant fear of the next attack or nuclear fallout. Everyday life was as normal as it could be even though perception of an outsider was far from it. People even in places plagued with terrorist threats and violence do get on with their lives and do have everyday lives as normal as possible in their circumstance. Just like it was normal life for my sisters I guess when I visited them this time, though not for me. Just like life is normal to me here in NYC! 

Sharing food

I was writing about exploring different cultures through food in my blog post Culinary Adventures, and realized that I have never posted any photos of our food excursions or of the potlucks. So here they are. I will add photos as I find them.

Lunch in a Turkish restaurant with Selen and her friend, Tina and Weinjing. Followed by turkish coffee and reading of fortunes ;)

Housewarming party at our home. Misal and Marcelle's Curry

Culinary Adventures

I have been watching Anthony Bordain on Netflix, off and on this year. It is nice to experience various regions through his culinary adventures. I also like and very much appreciate the idea of knowing the culture through its food.

During my first couple of years in New York, we used to hold potlucks where everybody brought one traditional dish from their country, region or family tradition. We also planned food excursions where a group of us used to go experience a particular type of cuisine. All of it on student budget. I have been fortunate in finding a multicultural and multinational group of friends to share my food passion with.  From my South African friend’s pot of curry with star anise to my Chinese friends taking me to their favorite dumpling place, my Turkish friend introducing me to the dolma, baklava, halva, and  grape leaves,  Korean friend making a special dish of dduk bok ki and the list can go on.

The funny part is that the dduk bok ki and the potluck party around it was planned because one of our American friend craved for it. She was the one who actually introduced me to this fantastic Korean food. Similarly my Turkish friend introduced me to Sushi and sashimi. We are truly an international bunch here with transnational experiences. 

I love exploring people and cultures through food as everything is connected to food. Food opens up conversations about life experiences. Once I took my South African friend to an Indian Grocery store. She saw Maltova there and was super excited. She used to eat Maltova as a kid and her kids like it too. So I learnt the stories of her childhood and her kids growing up in SA. Sharing of Shevayachi Kheer is another such instance. She knows it as Buba (sp?). Something her Muslim neighbors and her mother’s Muslim friends shared with them on Eid. And then we talk about the friendships between various ethnic and religious groups, traditions that were borrowed and shared, the chat coming back full circle to the spices and culinary influences they have on each other and to her famous curry with star anise.

I went for a potluck dinner last night with a couple of friends welcoming parents of another friend.  We had a nice spread, Marcel’s curry, Amina’s okra, cauliflower rassa and a medley Aisha brought. The dinner was topped with Amina’s famous fruit cream and wonderful conversation. Everyone talking about their culture, customs and stories of their life.  It was nourishment for the soul. A parallel session of mendi (henna) designs helped as well to un-clutter the mind.

We haven’t been doing this as frequently as we should. Everybody busy with their research, life and all the stresses that are part of a doctoral student’s life. May be that is what I need. Another culinary adventure. Table full of food from all over the world, conversations as varied as the food.  Perfect therapy for weary soul.

My brush with emergency services in NYC

One fine day instead of going to my class in the afternoon I decided to go home. I was feeling very weak. I walked as fast as I could like a true NewYorker. If only I can reach home in time and lie down, I will be fine, I kept telling myself. The train took forever to come. When it reached 157th street station, it stopped and people were asked to vacate the train. There was an emergency in the previous train so the trains behind were all stuck too. By this time I was feeling pretty sick and couldn't get up and leave. A lady asked me if I was feeling ok, and called some train personnel. He called 911.

It felt like it was forever before the FDNY guys came down. The first thing they did was whip out a form and start asking questions ... demographic questions not medical ones. If I was well enough to answer such questions would I need the emergency service in the first place?

Suddenly they decided to take me out to the ambulance, probably because the train needed to move. At last, I thought, they are going to take me to the hospital and I might not die after all. The ambulance was parked just outside the station and it remained there for next 10-15 minutes. The question answer session resumed. I never realized how long my first and last name are before that day. Believe me it is beyond frustrating to talk when you are fainting, then to repeat the name because your's is an Indian name and worse ... one of the most difficult last name in India and one of the longest Indian first name. I gave them my wallet that had the college id card hoping it would satisfy basic questions like name, affiliation, insurance info etc. I then gave them my phone with my boss's phone number on it. Hoping that they would ask him the questions and I could continue fainting in peace.

When my boss picked up the phone, the FDNY guy asked, 'is this person your employee?'. John, being a good boss he is thought it was an information mining call and refused to say anything unless told why they needed the information. The FDNY guys did not tell them it was an emergency, probably in some convoluted way an effort not to invade my privacy.

All this time the second FDNY guy was trying to put an oxygen mask on my face. The mask didn't work and it made me nautious so I was trying to remove it. This was going on parallely to the Q&A and fainting. I startd to question why we were still parked and not moving towards the hospital. The answer was totally baffling. The FDNY guy who was filing out the questionaire was the person who would drive the ambulance so unless I 'co-operated' I wasn't going anywhere.

By this time, the second person in the ambulance, the one with the oxygen mask, started interjecting every few minutes, saying "I can't get her pulse. hurry." It is a miracle I survived those 15 minutes in the ambulance in spite of his constant reminder that I might be dying.

Add a third person in the mix now. The person from the MTNY. He came with his own questionaire and started asking me the same questions. They had to cover their behinds too since it happened while I was travelling in their train. I had to answer the same questions all over again. I guess the FDNY couldn't share that information for fear of breaching confidentiality. ;)

Finally we reached the hospital..... ER hallway more like it. Somebody put a pulse monitor on my finger. I was relieved that somebody was monitoring me even if I was in the hallway. Nothing happened for a long time and then somebody came and 'borrowed' the pulse monitor. Never came back.
After lying down in the hallway for a long time I automatically started feeling better. (I was amazed at my capacity to survive in the face of adversity ;) ) But now ER doctor wouldn't let me go. She needed to check if I had internal bleeding. Another long wait, in a room this time, after which I left for home at 10 pm with an unreadable pink paper and without any diagnosis.
After 15 months and 3 hefty medical bills I still don't know what happened that evening and why I am still alive :)
Though the experience was traumatic, the whole story seems like a funny episode in a comedy movie script. Anybody wants the movie rights?

Houses and Homes

I like living in New York, especially in comparison to Storrs. The obvious reasons you might think of are - I like fast paced life and the infinite possibilities offered by a metro like New York. Those reasons are not entirely off the mark but the most attractive aspect of living in New York for me is that the building I live in is made of bricks.

The worst thing about living in Storrs is the wooden houses. In my mind it has a sense of impermanence. A wooden house does not seem like a secure structure I can call home. It has nothing to do with fire hazard. My Indian mind does not think about risk to life so much.

A house made of wood for me is either a cabin in the woods you would visit once in a while or a temporary structure created till the actual home, office is built. More often than not, wooden house means a shack built by a family that comes to the city to find a living and does not have enough for two meals.

When Parag and I were talking about development index and how it is measured, we realized that, in India, an important aspect of development index is houses and roads being 'Kaccha' or 'Pakka'. Kaccha (literally half baked/ uncooked) w.r.t. a road is a dirt road in contrast to a pakka (literally, well made, well baked) which is a tar road. Kaccha houses are the ones which do not use stone, brick and or morter. They are supposed to be lower in index to the Pakka houses using stone, brick and morter. So judging with that ruler, Storrs, or for that matter any suburb in US, would be one of the developmentally challenged neigborhoods. ;)

Swastika Part II

As mentioned in the previous post, I have been trying to spread the word offline and online. A few of those efforts were met with encouraging reactions from some american students. For example, a TC student was happy to receive information about the Indian Swastika and the way we use it in daily life. She also volunteered to talk about it with a friend in the student senate so that it can be handled at a macro level. I also wrote a comment on the public scribbling boards made available during the unrest in TC in the main lobby.

I asked a question regarding spreading information about Swastika on Yahoo Answers. It received a mixed responce. Here is the link to the QA:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ate.S03nXLZHNxWLaKSoIxnsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071109171936AAsU3xV

I will keep updating this post as and when I get more feedback

Indian Swastika and Hitlar's Hakenkreuz

The Swastika controversy is another issue that has been a huge part of my discussions, fact finding missions and such for the last couple of weeks. The controversy in my mind started with an image of a swastika in a brochure about hate crimes on campus and how to react to them. Unfortunately, the image of swastika they published was the straight faced Indian Swastika and not the tilted swastika of hitler showing 2 intelocked 'S'. It was a photo of the sign painted on a African American House sign so judgimg by the reference it was definately meant as a hate symbol. My first reaction was to laugh at it 'The haters didn't even know which swastika showed hate'. But what about the creaters of the brochure? Did they think twice before choosing this image as an example of hate crime?
The brochure was a 10 point ‘to do’ list. The first point was 'Rise Up'. A sentence in that section caught my attention "I didn't mean to hurt doesn't remove the hurt" "Rise up. The world won't change if people don't change it."

So I decided to rethink my approach/reaction to the way the word 'Swastika' is used in U.S. As an Indian, swastika to me is a symbol of wellbeing. The word (originating from sanskrit Swasti) literally means that. Swastika is part of an Indian's everyday life. When repeatedly swastika is mentioned as a hate symbol, how do Indian students react to it? I react by doing nothing or feeling nothing. The underlying thought process is 'they are not aware of my swastika. They aren't talking about the Indian swastika so I need not be offended.' I talked to a few Indian students and they had a similar reaction. 'we know better, just let it go.'

But is it right/fair to let go. Is it not offensive to hear repeated mentions of a symbol as a hate symbol when it is one of the most used auspicious symbols of a culture? Is it not unfair that an Indian cannot use his/her most auspicious symbol due to fear of being branded as fascist unnecesarily?

Some interesting stories came up when I was talking with the Indian students. The stories were about lack of information about the Indian (real??) swastika by westerners and the problems crreated by it. The stories were exchanged mostly as hilarious insidents. One of it goes like this: "An Indian student was coming to US to study. His father thought that it would be easier for him to find his bags if he had some kind of identifying sticker on it. The easiest available was the rangoli sticker used on the doorways which is very popular in Maharashtra. A rangoli sticker invaribly has a swastika in the center of the design. As I said before, swastika is a omnipresent symbol in India. He was arrested on one of the airports in Europe during the layover." I shared this story with couple other Indian students. The discussion invariably focused on 'how people who haven't travelled outside India do not have a sense of such things'. Why is the burden of knowing and understanding on the shoulders of an Indian? Is it because we believe in 'let go'?

What have we achieved by not reacting? Did we unknowingly support the abuse of the word/concept of 'Swastika' by not reacting? Will it make a difference if we educate people around us? Will it make a differnce if we protest against the use of the word 'Swastika' as a hate symbol and insist that the Nazi hate symbol be properly identified as 'Hitler's Swastika' or 'Hakenkreuz (hook-cross))'?

I am still debating in my mind about these questions. In the meanwhile I have also started talking about the issue with various american freinds offline and online. Resolving these questions for myself is going to take a long time. As they arn't really about swastika but about changing philosophy of life in a new environment.