Sunday, December 29, 2013

Where are you from?

Where are you from?

I am always stumped by that question. What does it really mean? where was I born? where was I before being here right now? What is my 'ethnicity'? What is my nationality?

Some part of why I am stumped, comes from the fact that I myself do not know where I fit. What label most fits me or who do I talk for when I say 'we'. It also comes from a place where I do not like people to try and place me as an X without really knowing me or wanting to know me.

In India my mother was always asked the question, what is your maiden last name. Our family name did not clearly carry any cast connotation. The query for maiden last name was actually asking which cast/sub-cast she was. I find the question, where are you from, similar to such questions. It is basically asking the question, 'are you of us or that other grouping?' or 'I can hear in your accent or see in your coloring that you are not of us so where can I fit you so that I know who you are.'

I have always liked to be eclectic and the question where are you from forces me to side with one or the other of the many places, people, 'cultures', traditions, schools of thought that I like to associate with, feel comfortable with or take pride in being part of. 

Monday, December 2, 2013

My history, Your history

Among other things, participating in Gallery Night Providence was one of the 'things to do' I have been planning for quite a long time to know more about my new city of residence and meet new people. As meeting people and knowing about the city were two important objectives, I decided to go for the theme based guided walks/tours offered last month rather than visiting the participating venues myself. Read more about the tour itself in the previous post.

Everybody at the information desk was happy to talk and give more information. The most interesting conversation of the evening however was with an older lady. We were talking about Myanmar, a word she could not place. I described it as Burma, the country to the east of Bangladesh. We had a lot more confusing back and forth as she thought it was next to Pakistan and I could not understand how she could miss the whole big chunk of India in the middle.

After some back and forth we realized that the visual of the map in her head was fine, facts from history was the problem. She was in school when Bangladesh was still part of Pakistan and was not aware of its formation in 1971. Part of history that I took for granted as part of world history was not an obvious nugget of information for her.

Some of it is also about geography and how we see things as near-far, relevant-irrelevant, or in size big-small based on where we currently live. More on perception of geography and how we see maps some other time.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Providence Firsts

Providence hosts an event every third Thursday named Gallery night. On October 21st I went for one of the tours offered as part of this event. We had a guest guide for this tour Michael Carroll, the docent of the John Brown House Museum in Providence. It was the most remarkable introduction to Providence and Rhode Island. Michael talked about a lot of firsts that can be attributed to the area.

One very important event was burning of the Gaspee as the event leading to the declaration of independence rather than the Boston tea party that I learned about in school (in India) learning about American Independence.

The Gaspee Day committee has been arranging various events to acquaint the public with an event that is as much a part of the national heritage as Paul Revere's ride and the Battles of Lexington and Concord. The Burning of the Gaspee was the first link in the chain of events that led directly to the Declaration of Independence.

A short description from the Gaspee Day committee website:
"In June of 1772 brave colonists from Rhode Island burned the British revenue schooner, HMS Gaspee, during what has become recognized as the first bloodshed of the American Revolution.
For the past 49 years the village of  Pawtuxet, RI has commemorated this act with our annual Gaspee Days Celebration. "

The other first (or is it a second) was the Providence art club. The club was started in 1880s by 10 men and 6 women who wanted to create a permanent place for artists to get together, work, have an exhibition gallery and where connoisseurs can go to buy art.
It was fascinating to visit studios that some of the artists opened up for the gallery night. Most interesting was talking with Anthony Tomacelli. Listening to him explain his process of painting and how different colors interact with each other changed how I look at art and the different hues of blue, orange, and violet.

The Little Pictures Show and Sale that the Providence Art Club hosts every year is also a first. The exhibition starts in November and goes on till Decemerb 23. The art has to be smaller than 16 X 16 and priced at $250 or less. I was told that this is an opportunity to buy an original piece of art by some well known area artists cheaper. This year is the 109th year of this exhibition.

There were other firsts and seconds (Providence seems to have a lot of seconds) mentioned by tour participants. I am planning to explore the history of the area more through its buildings and museums. Will post more as I explore more. 

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Circles in my life

I am increasingly having problems with managing my connections. I felt it was easier before in 2005 when everybody from India was on Orkut and everybody I met in US was on Facebook. My Indian connections moved from Orkut to Facebook slowly some 2-4 years ago and my Orkut account gets only a trickle of relevant activity. However, even without the move that kind of division would not have worked for me today with the kind of sharing patterns I have.

My efforts at creating google circles was supremely unsuccessful (mostly because of google+ not working for me) so has been making groups on Facebook to selectively share stuff. Some of what I share is geographically related. For example the Africans in India exhibition I recently shared is accessible only to people living in NYC, so are various events at TC, Columbia University or other neighboring institutions. Some of it is more personal, like cute photos of my friends visiting us and celebrating Christmas, opening presents that are not necessarily unworthy to be shared with acquaintances but not particularly necessary to broadcast either.

I created a page on Facebook for my extended family and it has picked up really well. However, there is no way I can include some of the activities of the family I acquired here in US over time like my friend Marcelle and her two boys, my roommate Selen. After my parent's visit to US the task has become much more difficult. Not only do I have two versions of family but some of the members of these two versions know each other well and I would like to share 'stuff' that both will enjoy.

The other side of it is to think about what will people I am related to want me to share. I had not thought about it before. Now that I think about it, I enjoy, actively read everything my sisters, friends in India post in spite of it being absolutely not related to me due to it being locally relevant geographically or local to some conversation I am not party to. Stalking my sisters and friends gives me a feeling that I am part of their lives more than possible given the distance (much of it in time zones).

This long 'thinking out loud' is not about the functionality so much but my inability or I think more of my aversion to define my various relations as to where they fit on the plane of relatedness. 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Remembering the dearly departed

I stumbled upon an article in the weekend edition of the Wall Street Journal (Jan 4,5 2013) titled Life and Death Online: Who Controls the digital legacy. It is a story of a teenager who died and her parents were fighting to get access to her online presence like emails, social network site accounts and so on.

Around the same time, after death of activist Aaron Swartz, there is an ongoing conversation on AIR about a pdf memorial for him. This subject also stuck in my mind because just a week back there was a discussion about online bereavement, memorials, and presence after death and related research on the AIR listserve.

I had not thought of my online presence as my legacy or memorabilia that my family might want as a keepsake. I most definitely had not thought about the legalities concerned and the need to add instructions for handling my various online presence as part of my will.

One reason for not thinking about it is that the thought of death and related practicalities has not been the foremost in my mind right now. Secondly, the idea of keepsakes from and memorials of dearly departed is not something that is culturally obvious to me. My friend showed me a watch that was given to her by her aunt as a keepsake after her death. I have read in novels and seen in movies and in TV series that people keep items of their departed relatives and friends as keepsakes. I have seen many deaths as I grew up but do not remember any practice of keepsakes. There is no custom of burial so no tombstone to visit, the ashes are thrown in the river so no keepsake urns on the mantle piece.

I wonder if it is the difference between the attitude towards death - the idea of moving on after a death vs. keeping memory of a person alive after death. Then I think of all the rituals we have for dead ancestors. The yearly food donation my parents make for my grandparents on their death anniversary. May be it is just a different way to remember.